Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) has now asked for Bella Swan’s
(Kristen Stewart) hand in marriage. However, Bella still has confused feelings over
the ever-topless Jacob (Taylor Laurent), who is also in love with Bella. Bella’s
life is once again in danger when an army of newly-born vampires is growing in Seattle,
created by Victoria (now played Bryce Dallas Howard) to finally avenge her
partner’s death.
You may have noticed that the above synopsis is fairly brief.
That’s because, the twenty minutes dedicated to the new-born army aside, barely
anything happens in Eclipse. It even
ends on the same point as New Moon
ended. The remaining hundred minutes are dedicated to Bella, Edward and Jacob
talking or bickering over Bella, plus some backstory on Rosalie (Nikki Reed)
and Jasper Cullen (Jackson Rathbone). The brief flashbacks about Rosalie and
Jasper are a thousand times more interesting than the faux angst Bella has
about Jacob and Edward. In its defence, Eclipse
is not quite as terrible as New Moon.
The CGI werewolves are slightly better and are less cartoonish than before. The
chase sequence with the Cullens, Victoria and the wolf pack is exhilarating, as
Victoria leaps between the two territories to evade her pursuers. However, this
is the exception in the film as the later action sequences are decidedly lacklustre.
On the positive side at least it breaks up the monotony of the conversations,
which only emphasises the recurrent issue that the central characters are
deeply unpleasant. David Slade may be the franchise’s third director, but the
constant aerial shots of the forest will never die.
In Eclipse, Jacob is
revealed to be a born Alpha male and, although he passed on being the wolf pack
leader, he certainly acts like it. Jacob is constantly pushing Bella into
confessing that she has feelings for him, and then sexually assaults her by
forcefully kissing her. Later, Jacob moans that a new member of the wolf-pack,
Leah (Julia Jones), constantly mopes about being caught in a love triangle with her ex Sam
and his new partner Emily. The hypocrisy could be smelt a mile away. Edward is
hardly better, as he sabotages Bella’s truck so she can’t visit Jacob and
shames her for wanting to have sex with him. It’s his ultimate bargaining tool;
Bella can’t sleep with him or turn into a vampire until she marries him, all
for the good of her soul (apparently). Put the two boys in close proximity to
each other and they are bumping chests, glowering at each other over Bella. Bella
continues to amaze us with her sheer lack any human emotion. As Charlie is
working on a missing person’s case, Bella asks of the parents of the missing
person, ‘Shouldn’t they just give up?’ Later she kisses Jacob in a manipulative
attempt to prevent him from fighting. In the end scene, she gives a speech that
is so lacking in self-awareness; I nearly fell off the sofa in shock and
laughter.
With the exceptions of Anna Kendrick and Billy Burke as
Jessica and Charlie respectively, there’s no enjoyable performance to be had. Michael
Sheen, you are sorely missed.
The
Twilight Saga: Eclipse is not quite as bad as New Moon, but only by a small margin.
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